Worst Italian Food Ever

Avanti Restaurant of Distinction

2728 E. Thomas Rd.
Phoenix, AZ 85016
(602) 956-090

Let's not waste any time here. NEVER eat this food. NEVER even think about going to this place. This was honestly one of the worst meals I've ever eaten in my entire life.

From the moment I drove down E. Thomas Rd. I knew there was a problem. This neighborhood is not very inviting to begin with. To see the catering van on the side of the building was another bad sign. The decor inside made of mirrorred walls and ceilings, neon lights, extremely old dinnerware, I just wanted to leave before it even started. Why did I do it to myself?

The first assault on my stomach were stuffed shrimp with crab, scallops, and spinach. Quite honestly, I could have thrown up. There was way too much bread crumb used to hold it together. It tasted as if it were prepared well in advance, refrigerated, then undercooked prior to arriving on my plate. No seasoning at all. Just disgusting.

Next was the orecchiete with rapini and sausage. There was more broccoli than anything else on the plate. Pasta was actually done in three different ways on the same plate. Undercooked, just right, and overcooked. Tell tale sign of an italian kitchen that could care less. The sausage was sliced from links without removing the lining so I was able to make futile efforts to chew my food completely. There was hardly any pasta on the plate and not so fresh parmesan sprinkled on top. Honestly, this was a disrespect to italy.

Stick to the house favorites they say. Well, the meat lasagna tasted like it was made with sour milk. There was a very tart, not so pleasant after taste which really made it difficult to stomach. Just don't eat this at all.

Service is acceptable. But I gotta say, the italian accents seemed a bit fake. I wouldn't be surprised to know there was just a large freezer of microwavable italian meals, a few cookbooks, and italian rosetta stone cd's in the kitchen.

THIS FOOD WAS DISGUSTING, DECOR HIDEOUS, AND I WAS FRANKLY EMBARRASSED TO EVEN BE THERE. The four senior citizens sitting next to us were the only other customers. While discussing their medical conditions for all else to hear, all I could think of is why did this have to happen to me.

At Last, A Great Piece of Meat...

Fleming's
Pime Steakhouse & Wine Bar
9712 West Northern Avenue
Peoria, AZ 85345
http://www.flemingssteakhouse.com/locations/az/peoria/

Long work week, too many quick snacks taking the place of a real meal, it's time for 'meat and potatoes'. I'm typically not a huge of fan of large steakhouse chains (ie, Morton's, Ruth's Chris). I find consistency to be the achilles heal for most of these places. It's not as if the prices are forgiving either, so my expectations for a good meal are never compromised. Now, I'm a definite supporter of any steak coming off the grill at Maestro's, but this night it was just a little too far to travel. In comes Fleming's Steakhouse.

I've been to their Boston location on previous occasions and have always come away satisfied with their meal. This night I opted for the special of the day appetizer, a seafood chowder advertised as having a large amount of shrimp and lobster. AVERAGE. Just your typical chowder with heavy cream, small pieces of minced seafood and a few bacon bits. Second, crab cakes with lime butter sauce. AVERAGE. I've never had a great crab cake. They are always under seasoned, filled with bread crumbs to increase size, and too greasy. This was not too much different. Greasy seafood by definition is never good. This is where Fleming's succeeded where Deseo failed (see last post). Next was the double thick Australian Lamb Chops with a champagne mint sauce and mint jelly. Cooked to perfection (medium rare), very well seasoned with a nice carmelization around the edges. Forget about the mint sauces, why mask the meat. Just a great piece of meat all around. I also sampled the bone-in ribeye (my personal favorite piece of meat) and this was also fantastic. Of course there were your typical steakhouse sides, an asparagus, potato gratin, french fries, onion rings.........yaaaawwnnn...who cares.

When ordering from chain steakhouses, its very simple. Minimize your bread, appetizer, and side dish intake. Focus on the meat, this is what they do best and it's worth your while. Ok, maybe add a few cocktails in there as well. Why get full on sides then throw away half of your $50 piece of meat.

If you want a very respectable piece of meat...go to Fleming's and stay focused, you won't be dissapointed.

For a second they had me...

Deseo
6902 East Greenway Parkway
Scottsdale, AZ 85254
Ph: (480) 624-1030

Website

Still in search of the ultimate dining EXPERIENCE.....

I figured, what a great time to try and add a little flare to my saturday night in AZ. After several long moments of internet searches, I was drawn to DESEO, a latin restaurant in the Kierland Commons area.

Your dining EXPERIENCE starts from the moment you drive up. PROBLEM. Their location at the West Kierland Resort was like parking at a baseball stadium in general parking, then walking to your position in center field. Just one huge parking lot, too weary to find valet, and no spots except for on the outer edges. Very long walk, finally to the hotel, we find the restaurant.

The restaurant title is spanish for 'I desire', supposedly known for a latin themed cuisine, this just looks like a glorified Applebee's tucked away in the Holiday Inn to me. We were promptly seated at the ceviche bar. Meal time finally.

On the house, 'millionaire tacos' with raw ahi, greens, red onion and jalapeno, yuca taco, very delicious. It's clear already that if they don't cook it, you may be very pleased. Feeling good at this point despite lackluster decor. Next was a trio of ceviche including hamachi with yuzu and sweet soy...simply delicious. Lobster ceviche that the chef presented and pointed to as calamari by mistake...also pretty good. Last was an ahi tuna with creamed coconut...average. Flavors were just a bit muddled. Next was a foie gras and fig empanada. The foie gras was sliced way too thin and just put on top after being cooked too long. No longer with a lush, creamy but firm texture, this foie gras was shriveled to hell. Too small to taste much and overpowered by the fig as well. Entrees included rack of lamb (requested medium rare) with jalapeno-honey and mint mojo. First it was completely overcooked. Basically it was well done. Sauce had very little flavor. This was just downright bad. A disprespect to the lamb and the customer. Also a chilean sea bass....again extremely overcooked. Seared for way too long, edges were hard and chewy. Fish had no flavor. Huge dissapointment considering both of these are very forgiving items to cook and aren't that difficult. You would figure that with chef/owner in town, the chefs would step up. WRONG! The owner Douglas Rodriguez did give us a free course of a stone bowl rice with chorizo, lump crab, and a fried egg on top...Actually very tasty and one of the highlights. Despite knowing I would be dissapointed, we ordered the spanish style creme brulee for desert. HORRIBLE. Cold brulee with no flavor. Texture completely wrong. Berries with red wine for sauce disqusting. Why did I bother?

All in all, would avoid all cooked items in this place including deserts. Overpriced for the quality of food. Decor puts you to sleep. Service is almost embarassing. Food just dropped off without explanation of the ingredients or cooking techniques. We were charged for bottled water that we never asked for. Definitely stop by for the ceviche bar only for a snack. Find valet service if at all possible.

This place did not get me any closer to a true dining EXPERIENCE...

NOTE: This post is by a guest blogger on Credibly Edible.com.

Want to be a guest blogger? Had a an amazingly good or amazingly bad experience.

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Bobby's, A Mancuso Nightmare

Bobby's, A Mancuso Restaurant
7122 E. Greenway Parkway, Kierland Commons
Scottsdale, Arizona
http://www.mancusosrestaurant.com/bobbys/bobbyscontact.htm

First things first, I'm tough but I'm fair. Why debate varying degrees of mediocrity? Why give any restaurant a second chance once they've already shown something less than exquisite is acceptable. Something decent here and there is just not good enough. My goal is to find the ultimate dining EXPERIENCE. A true dining experience not only takes into account all the basic principles creating flavor profiles and texture combinations to create a good meal, but also the subtle caveats that can transform just a good plate of food into a thought provoking and cultural experience. This does not require summer truffle shavings over the perfectly cooked foie gras ravioli.......or gently sauteed morels decorating a course of finely sliced japanese...but that is a damn good start. Your EXPERIENCE starts with the restaurant location, then the ambience once you enter the front door, the hopefully well executed front room host, then finally the meal. Let's just say Bobby and I didn't get past first base.

Ok..ok,..the Kierland Commons area is a young, vibrant sector of town that is very inviting for the food seekers like myself. There seems to be a 'so fresh, so clean' aura to the area and I dig it. But what top flight restaurant can you walk into, slowly wander through the front entrance walkway, past three waiters and hostess, climb the stairs to the upstairs dining area and bar, then wait another five minutes without getting so much as a 'welcome'. I honestly didn't know if this place was open to patrons or not. It turns out this was happy hour! Sure, it was sunday at 5pm, but at least fake it a bit. The bartender who looked like a fresh graduate from ASU finally arrived and I knew it was going to be a financial loss. I just had that dreaded feeling of know I was about to make a bad financial decision and buy something to eat there. Before I could wrap my mind around the menu which was entirely too long (always a bad sign!), the waitress spilled a bucket of bleach in the bar and it quickly became an official chemical spill site that should have resulted in my following the evacuation orders my conscience was screaming in my head. But no...I forged ahead with reckless abandon.

In my opinion, a tasting menu is always the choice if offered. The alternative is to order as many starters as possible and several entrees for the table if you can. No such tasting menu in this place, just several lists of your typical italian fare without any twists at all. The greatest of italian food relies on very few ingredients and perfect execution to harmonize the flavors. I figured a simple butternut squash ravioli and homemade lasagna would be a safe option considering what I've already been through. WRONG!

No need to pull punches here. Probably the most disgusting, dried up, salt ridden, flavorless lasagna I've ever eaten. This made Stouffer's lasagna seem like something straight out of Mario Batali's kitchen oven itself. Calling the poison hotline for further guidance would not have been unreasonable. Even the edges of the lasagna was burnt, and not in a way that made the overheated cheese taste good cut from the edge. It just tasted burnt and salty. The butternut squash was hardly a step up. How many times can you order ravioli in a restaurant and you are always left wondering why is there never more filling in the ravioli? It should be much easier than it seems to stuff ravioli full of great ingredients and let them explode in your mouth. Instead, you might as well just brushed a little flavorless squash over some pasta and thrown it in a bowl.

This place clearly does not deserve my business ever again. Could I potentially go there for drinks, on a night where more than myself and two others are projected to be in the building....ok, I will give it that. But don't drink too much, you may get the munchies and make the same financial mistake I did and order their salt packets they call lasagna and butternut squash.

I am hot on the trail for a truly great meal, a true dining EXPERIENCE. Stay posted!